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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Within
Everywhere
Work
Distance
Time
Walking
Humor
Walks
Environment
Fun
Hiker
Comedy
Hiking
More quotes by Steven Wright
I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
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Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
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In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
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If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
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I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
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When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
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My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
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I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.
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I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
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I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
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My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'Okay, forget it.
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I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.
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I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.
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Why do banks charge you a non-sufficient funds fee on money they already know you don't have?
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When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
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