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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Within
Everywhere
Work
Distance
Time
Walking
Humor
Walks
Environment
Fun
Hiker
Comedy
Hiking
More quotes by Steven Wright
Is 'tired old cliché' one?
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'
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Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.
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I had amnesia once or twice.
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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
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I thought I would be a guy on the radio.
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Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
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I liked school, but I used to dread those moments when the teacher would call me up to give an oral report. I forced myself to deal with it and not dwell on the class in front of me - to keep a straight face, give the report and concentrate on getting it right. That's normally how I perform. That's how I am.
Steven Wright
When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
Steven Wright
When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
Steven Wright
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.
Steven Wright
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
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I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.
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Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
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There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person.
Steven Wright
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Steven Wright
My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.
Steven Wright
The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.
Steven Wright
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Steven Wright
