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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Time
Walking
Humor
Walks
Environment
Fun
Hiker
Comedy
Hiking
Within
Everywhere
Work
Distance

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.
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I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.
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Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.
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Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.
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Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
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When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
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I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
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My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'Okay, forget it.
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
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In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
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I had my coat hangers spayed.
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The sky already fell. Now what?
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Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
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Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
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I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
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Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Steven Wright