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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Funny
Breakfast
Toast
Time
Nonsense
Toasts
French
Ordered
Humorous
Renaissance
Cooking
Restaurant
Humor
Serves
Food
Culinary
Went
Restaurants
More quotes by Steven Wright
My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
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Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
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Do you have any toy train schedules?
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If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
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What a nice night for an evening.
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They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
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Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
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The sky already fell. Now what?
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
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I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, Do you want white cake or chocolate cake? I said, yes.
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It's a fine night to have an evening.
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I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
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If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.
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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
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Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?
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I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still.
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
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