Quote

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Everyone
Stood
Around
Birthday
Remember
Sight
Singing
Humor
Shop
Friends
Candle
Happy
Shops
Funny
Burned

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was Quote so the last thing I said before I died would be Unquote.
Steven Wright
Image
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
Steven Wright
Image
All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes.
Steven Wright
Image
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.
Steven Wright
Image
I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.
Steven Wright
Image
Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
Steven Wright
Image
I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.
Steven Wright
Image
For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
Steven Wright
Image
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
Steven Wright
Image
I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.
Steven Wright
Image
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
Steven Wright
Image
I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.
Steven Wright
Image
If its tourist season, why cant we shoot them
Steven Wright
Image
I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
Steven Wright
Image
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
Steven Wright
Image
Is 'tired old cliché' one?
Steven Wright
Image
I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
Steven Wright
Image
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
Steven Wright
Image
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Steven Wright
Image
The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
Steven Wright