A headline last year, after the death of Saddam Hussein, read: 'Tyrant is hanged'. My auntie looked at the newspaper and sobbed, 'Who's going to present Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?'

Under most circumstances that would result in disqualification. If the rules of golf are upheld, I believe he should have been disqualified.

When you're told as a caddie we need to take a break, you're fired.

The reality is that these cases are happening all the time. It's when they get out of control that you have a problem.

If you want me to come and caddie for you full time, you've got to sit down and do some hard work and do some hard yards because that's what I expect.

I think it's always when you go to caddie for another player, it's no different to when you start with a new player. The very most important thing is when you get the first opportunity to have a win is to try and show them that you know what you're doing. It's easier said than done.

Just because you're a good caddie doesn't mean to say that you're the one that can put a player over the top. A good caddie doesn't necessarily help you've got to gel.

I was talking to my friend from New York yesterday, and I used the expression, 'You can't polish a turd'. He looked at me, disgusted, and said, 'No, you can't, but you can roll it in glitter'. He's a lovely guy but I wouldn't want to go to a craft fair with him