Quote

In talking to girls I could never remember the right sequence of things to say. I'd meet a girl and say, Hi, was it good for you too? If a girl spent the night, I'd wake up in the morning and then try to get her drunk.

Steve Martin

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Steve Martin
Age: 79
Born: 1945
Born: August 14
Actor
Art Collector
Banjoist
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Musician
Performing Artist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Street Artist
Waco
Texas
Steve Glenn Martin
Stephen Glenn Martin
Trying
Girls
Good
Meet
Things
Morning
Never
Talking
Girl
Sequence
Night
Drunk
Remember
Wake
Right
Spent

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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars
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What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
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I think I meant that, given the circumstances of my childhood, I had the illusion that it's easier to be alone. To have your relationships be casual and also to pose as a solitary person, because it was more romantic. You know, I was raised on the idea of the ramblin' man and the loner.
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When I die, now don't think that I'm a nut, don't want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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The banjo is truly an American instrument, and it captures something about our past.
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I think films are about having a good time, so I don't know that there's a message. The message of a film is always what a critic writes, and the fun of a film or the emotion of a film is what the audience feels.
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Nothing I do is done by popular demand.
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I ignored my stand-up career for twenty-five years, but now, having finished this memoir, I view this time with surprising warmth. One can have, it turns out, an affection for the war years.
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When I first started doing my stand-up act, I played the banjo, did comedy, magic tricks, juggled, read poetry. I stuck it all in. I didn't know you were supposed to just stand up and tell jokes. Essentially, that's what my act became: those five elements - except I dropped the poetry.
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You can't make something beautiful by trying to make something beautiful. Something becomes beautiful in the process of trying to be something else.
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I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic.
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The Matisse seemed to respond to the decreasing light by increasing its own wattage. Every object in the room was drained of color, but the Matisse stood firm in the de-escalating illumination, its beauty turning functionality inside out, making itself a more practical and useful presence than anything else in sight.
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...it is not the big events that hurt the most but rather the smallest questionable shift in tone at the end of a spoken word that can plow most deeply into the heart.
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As much as I remember, I just thought, I want to sing a song that starts normal and ends crazy.
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I took literally everything I knew how to do on stage with me, which was juggling, magic and banjo and my little comedy routines.
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I was not self-destructive, though I almost destroyed myself. In the end, I turned away from stand-up with a tired swivel of my head...
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Being on Twitter is like having a fern.
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I'm for the Wall Street Occupiers. But will they accept me when they find out I sell packaged mortgage default instruments to children?
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