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I've decided to take up smoking, my doctor said I wasn't getting enough tar.

Steve Martin

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Steve Martin
Age: 79
Born: 1945
Born: August 14
Actor
Art Collector
Banjoist
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Musician
Performing Artist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Street Artist
Waco
Texas
Steve Glenn Martin
Stephen Glenn Martin
Doctors
Decided
Wasn
Getting
Take
Enough
Smoking
Doctor

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I'm for the Wall Street Occupiers. But will they accept me when they find out I sell packaged mortgage default instruments to children?
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I thought if I had a Twitter feed and say I had a following of a 100,000, that means 100,000 of them would be interested in my book. It was logical, but it didn't turn out to be true. It turned out if I had a Twitter feed of a 100,000, four of them were interested in my book.
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I cringe at backstory. Because it never quite explains or gets into some psychological thing that is never quite right and never quite the truth and who knows why someone is someway.
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I just believe that the interesting time in a career is pre-success, what shaped things, how did you get to this point.
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Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.
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I like what a third man brings. A kind of oblique vision, seeing something in the material that you didn't know was there. As a comedian, I'm always listening to the audience. And in movies, sometimes the only audience you have is the producer and the director. I like having someone else's opinion, especially if you're on the same wavelength.
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I hope people find my movies funny and will watch them years from now. And, in terms of writing, I hope that something remains that will not seem old-fashioned, that will still have a ­vibrancy to it 50 years from now.
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It's not tipping I believe in. It's overtipping.
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Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing.
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Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.
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The only thing that bothers me is if I'm in a restaurant and I'm eating and someone says, 'Hey, mind if I smoke?' I always say, 'No. Mind if I fart?
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If you feel tired midway through, give Neil Patrick Harris a Red Bull and throw some sheet music at him.
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Somewhere in the world is...The world's worst doctor and he could be yours.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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Kids like my act because I'm wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there's a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny.
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Being on Twitter is like having a fern.
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At first I had no skills in writing comedy. I didn't know what a joke was, but, as someone once told me, your emotions follow your intent. If you create the intention of starting a comedy act, slowly your mind starts adjusting and you arrive at a new emotional state.
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There are some people that will not pick up a phone and call you, but if you knock on a door and talk to them, they'll talk back to you.
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Relationships end, but they don't end your life.
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