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I'm not a human being. I'm despicable and disgusting - but that's where the money is.
Steve Martin
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Steve Martin
Age: 79
Born: 1945
Born: August 14
Actor
Art Collector
Banjoist
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Musician
Performing Artist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Street Artist
Waco
Texas
Steve Glenn Martin
Stephen Glenn Martin
Human
Humans
Despicable
Disgusting
Entertainment
Art
Money
More quotes by Steve Martin
I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic.
Steve Martin
I used to think a wedding was a simple affair. Boy and girl meet, they fall in love, he buys a ring, she buys a dress, they say I do. I was wrong. That's getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition.
Steve Martin
I'm for the Wall Street Occupiers. But will they accept me when they find out I sell packaged mortgage default instruments to children?
Steve Martin
You know, there's a moment when you're famous when it's unbearable to go out because you're too famous. And then there's a moment when you're famous just right.
Steve Martin
Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing.
Steve Martin
I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the punch line, the audience either laughs sincerely or they laugh automatically or they don't laugh. The thing that bothered me was that automatic laugh. I said, that's not real laughter.
Steve Martin
Home to me is when someone comes up to me and says, Can I get a selfie? No. It's where your wife and your family are. It's the emotional place where you feel like you're not away from it.
Steve Martin
People come up to me and say Steve, what is film editing? And I say How should I know? You're the director.
Steve Martin
After one of my plays came out, I had mixed reviews, some bad and some good. One day, it dawned on me. I thought, 'I wrote a play and he wrote a review, and that's the difference between him and me.'
Steve Martin
Ah, yes. I remember my first beer.
Steve Martin
Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
Steve Martin
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
Steve Martin
I would assign every lie a color: yellow when they were innocent, pale blue when they sailed over you like the sky, red because I knew they drew blood. And then there was the black lie. That's the worst of all. A black lie was when I told you the truth.
Steve Martin
No art comes from the conscious mind.
Steve Martin
I think films are about having a good time, so I don't know that there's a message. The message of a film is always what a critic writes, and the fun of a film or the emotion of a film is what the audience feels.
Steve Martin
I didn't come from a wealthy family. I had no money. Maybe it goes back to naivete which is your greatest asset when you're young. If I was starting in comedy today and if it didn't work the first time, I'd probably quit. But I kept at it, kept at it.
Steve Martin
I've heard lots of people lie to themselves but they never fool anyone.
Steve Martin
In talking to girls I could never remember the right sequence of things to say. I'd meet a girl and say, Hi, was it good for you too? If a girl spent the night, I'd wake up in the morning and then try to get her drunk.
Steve Martin
I'm trying to think of other ones. Oh, yeah, I'd say - somebody would buy something and we'd say, and because you are our hundredth customer today, you get a free paperback.
Steve Martin
Relationships end, but they don't end your life. But people do often spending more time finding out about failed relationships than finding successful ones.
Steve Martin
