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The only thing that bothers me is if I'm in a restaurant and I'm eating and someone says, 'Hey, mind if I smoke?' I always say, 'No. Mind if I fart?

Steve Martin

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Steve Martin
Age: 79
Born: 1945
Born: August 14
Actor
Art Collector
Banjoist
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Musician
Performing Artist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Street Artist
Waco
Texas
Steve Glenn Martin
Stephen Glenn Martin
Mind
Restaurants
Always
Smoking
Bother
Smoke
Eating
Bothers
Says
Fart
Someone
Restaurant
Thing
Hey

More quotes by Steve Martin

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There is something going on now in Mexico that I happen to think is cruelty to animals. What I'm talking about, of course, is cat juggling.
Steve Martin
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It's very hard sometimes when you can't crack something or can't solve something and you keep trying and trying and you know it's falling a little bit short. That's very hard, but then when you finally do it, it's very rewarding and the process is good too, I like working with people this way.
Steve Martin
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I thought if I had a Twitter feed and say I had a following of a 100,000, that means 100,000 of them would be interested in my book. It was logical, but it didn't turn out to be true. It turned out if I had a Twitter feed of a 100,000, four of them were interested in my book.
Steve Martin
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I can juggle. I started juggling as a kid. And when I worked at Disneyland, I knew a juggler there named Christopher Faire, and he taught me how to juggle. I used it in my comedy act for a while.
Steve Martin
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With comedy, you have no place to go but more comedy, so you're never off the hook.
Steve Martin
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I was very vulnerable to criticism for many years. I could read a bad review and remember it my whole life.
Steve Martin
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It's like painting the same blank canvas over and over and over and over and over. Once the concept is known, you don't need to see two. And that was in the back of my head, that I was really done artistically with what I had created or pastiched.
Steve Martin
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The Matisse seemed to respond to the decreasing light by increasing its own wattage. Every object in the room was drained of color, but the Matisse stood firm in the de-escalating illumination, its beauty turning functionality inside out, making itself a more practical and useful presence than anything else in sight.
Steve Martin
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The emotions of men, however, were of a different order. They were pesky annoyances, small dust devils at her feet. Her knack for causing heartbreak was innate, but her vitality often made people forgive her romantic misdeeds.
Steve Martin
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Acting is collaborative because you are working with another actor, and it's almost like a two-man juggling team. You have to really be in sync.
Steve Martin
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Private companies have a lot of capital. They can run things efficiently and get projects built.
Steve Martin
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So much emotion can be brought in an animated film that's very hard to get in a live-action film. I haven't quite put my finger on why, but it might be because the characters can make facial expression that, if you made them in a movie, they'd call them corny.
Steve Martin
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After one of my plays came out, I had mixed reviews, some bad and some good. One day, it dawned on me. I thought, 'I wrote a play and he wrote a review, and that's the difference between him and me.'
Steve Martin
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You can't make something beautiful by trying to make something beautiful. Something becomes beautiful in the process of trying to be something else.
Steve Martin
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I took literally everything I knew how to do on stage with me, which was juggling, magic and banjo and my little comedy routines.
Steve Martin
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When I first started doing my stand-up act, I played the banjo, did comedy, magic tricks, juggled, read poetry. I stuck it all in. I didn't know you were supposed to just stand up and tell jokes. Essentially, that's what my act became: those five elements - except I dropped the poetry.
Steve Martin
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Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing.
Steve Martin
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When I die, now don't think that I'm a nut, don't want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
Steve Martin
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I like what a third man brings. A kind of oblique vision, seeing something in the material that you didn't know was there. As a comedian, I'm always listening to the audience. And in movies, sometimes the only audience you have is the producer and the director. I like having someone else's opinion, especially if you're on the same wavelength.
Steve Martin
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Somewhere in the world is...The world's worst doctor and he could be yours.
Steve Martin