Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The only thing that bothers me is if I'm in a restaurant and I'm eating and someone says, 'Hey, mind if I smoke?' I always say, 'No. Mind if I fart?
Steve Martin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steve Martin
Age: 79
Born: 1945
Born: August 14
Actor
Art Collector
Banjoist
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Musician
Performing Artist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Street Artist
Waco
Texas
Steve Glenn Martin
Stephen Glenn Martin
Thing
Hey
Mind
Restaurants
Always
Smoking
Bother
Smoke
Eating
Bothers
Says
Fart
Someone
Restaurant
More quotes by Steve Martin
Kids like my act because I'm wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there's a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny.
Steve Martin
I've run into people in my life who were so dramatic people who are so extreme and so frustrating to be around that you end up thinking about them and talking about them for literally years after your experience with them is over.
Steve Martin
You can't make something beautiful by trying to make something beautiful. Something becomes beautiful in the process of trying to be something else.
Steve Martin
Yeah, well, we're all writers, aren't we? He's a writer that hasn't been published, and I'm a writer who hasn't written anything.
Steve Martin
If he thinks he would harm Mirabelle, he would back away. But he does not yet understand when and how people are hurt. He doesn't understand the subtleties of slights and pains, that it is not the big events that hurt the most but rather the smallest questionable shift in tone at the end of a spoken word that can plow most deeply into the heart.
Steve Martin
The bluegrass community... can be very strict. I didn't know if I'd be welcomed into the bluegrass community or not, but I think they judge you very fairly... I felt really welcome.
Steve Martin
Always do business as if the person you're doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he's not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
Steve Martin
Or is it that I think too much?
Steve Martin
I started a grease fire at McDonald's - threw a match in the cook's hair.
Steve Martin
I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... an Arctic region covered with ice.
Steve Martin
Bad psychoanalysis would say I enjoyed pleasing people, working really hard and pleasing people, which is probably related to my father in some way. But I really liked working hard. When I worked at Disneyland, I'd do 12 hours straight and go home thrilled.
Steve Martin
...a young man, Jamaican, perhaps, his head circled in a scarf with sunbleached dreadlocks on piled on top, looking like a plate of soft-shell crabs.
Steve Martin
It's horrible for someone to listen to someone learning any instrument - when I was first learning the banjo, I used to have to go out and sit in the car, and even in the summertime I'd have to roll up the windows. Because you just couldn't practice a banjo or a fiddle with other people around. Unless they're being paid.
Steve Martin
To have someone play off and be with a band is more pleasurable.
Steve Martin
I knew I could only play Cyrano if he were Americanized. I had no intention of writing the script myself. I was afraid of it. You're playing with fire when you tamper with a classic. So I went looking for a writer. But it was such a personal idea, and anyone I would give it to would make it his own. It's hard to ask Neil Simon to write your idea.
Steve Martin
To me, torture would be, I can't think what to write in the next sentence. I'm stuck. Torture would be if you didn't have the next idea.
Steve Martin
The banjo is truly an American instrument, and it captures something about our past.
Steve Martin
Now let's repeat the non-conformists' oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
Steve Martin
I can understand the drug thing. So they feel that it's more important to take the drugs than to do a good show for the people.
Steve Martin
No art comes from the conscious mind.
Steve Martin
