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The only thing that bothers me is if I'm in a restaurant and I'm eating and someone says, 'Hey, mind if I smoke?' I always say, 'No. Mind if I fart?
Steve Martin
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Steve Martin
Age: 79
Born: 1945
Born: August 14
Actor
Art Collector
Banjoist
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Musician
Performing Artist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Street Artist
Waco
Texas
Steve Glenn Martin
Stephen Glenn Martin
Smoke
Eating
Bothers
Says
Fart
Someone
Restaurant
Thing
Hey
Mind
Restaurants
Always
Smoking
Bother
More quotes by Steve Martin
The bluegrass community... can be very strict. I didn't know if I'd be welcomed into the bluegrass community or not, but I think they judge you very fairly... I felt really welcome.
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It eventually appeared to be me, cinematically. When I was writing it I was actually an author, you know, writing a book. ... But there certainly is a difference in energy between a younger man and an older man.
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The operation was a success, but I'm afraid the doctor is dead.
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I would assign every lie a color: yellow when they were innocent, pale blue when they sailed over you like the sky, red because I knew they drew blood. And then there was the black lie. That's the worst of all. A black lie was when I told you the truth.
Steve Martin
It's not the size of the nose that matters, it's what's inside that counts.
Steve Martin
I can juggle. I started juggling as a kid. And when I worked at Disneyland, I knew a juggler there named Christopher Faire, and he taught me how to juggle. I used it in my comedy act for a while.
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You kill me and I'll see that you never work in this town again.
Steve Martin
So, I can hurt now, or hurt later.
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I loved magic, and so I would practice my magic tricks in front of a mirror for hours and hours and hours because I was told that you must practice, you must practice and never present a trick before it's ready.
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You want to be a bit compulsive in your art or craft or whatever you do.
Steve Martin
There are some people that will not pick up a phone and call you, but if you knock on a door and talk to them, they'll talk back to you.
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I didn't come from a wealthy family. I had no money. Maybe it goes back to naivete which is your greatest asset when you're young. If I was starting in comedy today and if it didn't work the first time, I'd probably quit. But I kept at it, kept at it.
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You can't make something beautiful by trying to make something beautiful. Something becomes beautiful in the process of trying to be something else.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
Steve Martin
Or is it that I think too much?
Steve Martin
The emotions of men, however, were of a different order. They were pesky annoyances, small dust devils at her feet. Her knack for causing heartbreak was innate, but her vitality often made people forgive her romantic misdeeds.
Steve Martin
To have someone play off and be with a band is more pleasurable.
Steve Martin
Reviews for someone like me come in three packages. One is justifiable praise, the second is justifiable criticism, and the third is, This is only published because he's a celebrity.
Steve Martin