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. . . Now you see . . . they' re not fit for humans . . . Put them on me.

Steve Martin

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Steve Martin
Age: 79
Born: 1945
Born: August 14
Actor
Art Collector
Banjoist
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Musician
Performing Artist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Street Artist
Waco
Texas
Steve Glenn Martin
Stephen Glenn Martin
Fit
Humans

More quotes by Steve Martin

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Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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The Apple Pie Hubbub was a significant novel for me, because that's when I first started using verbs.
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The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor first because writing is what you do when you are ready and acting is what you do when someone else is ready.
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What is a movie star? A movie star is many things. They can be tall, short, thin, or skinny. They can be Democrats... or skinny.
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I was very interested in vaudeville. It was the only sort of discipline that was a five-minute act on stage, which is what I really enjoyed and saw myself doing. And I bought books on it.
Steve Martin
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She didn't even finish her last sentence it just trailed off. I think the subject had changed in her head while her mouth had continued on the old topic, not realizing it was out of supplies.
Steve Martin
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
Steve Martin
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Ah, yes. I remember my first beer.
Steve Martin
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It's like painting the same blank canvas over and over and over and over and over. Once the concept is known, you don't need to see two. And that was in the back of my head, that I was really done artistically with what I had created or pastiched.
Steve Martin
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I would assign every lie a color: yellow when they were innocent, pale blue when they sailed over you like the sky, red because I knew they drew blood. And then there was the black lie. That's the worst of all. A black lie was when I told you the truth.
Steve Martin
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There are few takers for the quiet heart.
Steve Martin
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The Matisse seemed to respond to the decreasing light by increasing its own wattage. Every object in the room was drained of color, but the Matisse stood firm in the de-escalating illumination, its beauty turning functionality inside out, making itself a more practical and useful presence than anything else in sight.
Steve Martin
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The environment changed with Martha Stewart and Enron.
Steve Martin
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
Steve Martin
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I'm for the Wall Street Occupiers. But will they accept me when they find out I sell packaged mortgage default instruments to children?
Steve Martin
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Nothing I do is done by popular demand.
Steve Martin
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I've decided to take up smoking, my doctor said I wasn't getting enough tar.
Steve Martin
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As a school board we felt it's an unfair expense to families. The lawsuit has a certain logic to it - if you have free public education, you can't put these things on top of it. It defeats the purpose.
Steve Martin
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
Steve Martin