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Being on Twitter is like having a fern.
Steve Martin
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Steve Martin
Age: 79
Born: 1945
Born: August 14
Actor
Art Collector
Banjoist
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Musician
Performing Artist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Street Artist
Waco
Texas
Steve Glenn Martin
Stephen Glenn Martin
Fern
Ferns
Twitter
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More quotes by Steve Martin
I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the punch line, the audience either laughs sincerely or they laugh automatically or they don't laugh. The thing that bothered me was that automatic laugh. I said, that's not real laughter.
Steve Martin
I've heard lots of people lie to themselves but they never fool anyone.
Steve Martin
Writing is extremely personal, and that's the joy of it for me.
Steve Martin
You know, you're really nobody in L.A. unless you live in a house with a really big door.
Steve Martin
I started a grease fire at McDonald's - threw a match in the cook's hair.
Steve Martin
How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars
Steve Martin
I'm always looking for something to engage my imagination and take me on a little mental voyage. I just want a new topic in my life.
Steve Martin
Relationships end, but they don't end your life.
Steve Martin
Relationships end, but they don't end your life. But people do often spending more time finding out about failed relationships than finding successful ones.
Steve Martin
You kill me and I'll see that you never work in this town again.
Steve Martin
The bluegrass community... can be very strict. I didn't know if I'd be welcomed into the bluegrass community or not, but I think they judge you very fairly... I felt really welcome.
Steve Martin
To me, torture would be, I can't think what to write in the next sentence. I'm stuck. Torture would be if you didn't have the next idea.
Steve Martin
People come up to me and say Steve, what is film editing? And I say How should I know? You're the director.
Steve Martin
It's horrible for someone to listen to someone learning any instrument - when I was first learning the banjo, I used to have to go out and sit in the car, and even in the summertime I'd have to roll up the windows. Because you just couldn't practice a banjo or a fiddle with other people around. Unless they're being paid.
Steve Martin
I'm trying to think of other ones. Oh, yeah, I'd say - somebody would buy something and we'd say, and because you are our hundredth customer today, you get a free paperback.
Steve Martin
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
Steve Martin
The emotions of men, however, were of a different order. They were pesky annoyances, small dust devils at her feet. Her knack for causing heartbreak was innate, but her vitality often made people forgive her romantic misdeeds.
Steve Martin
Now let's repeat the non-conformists' oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
Steve Martin
Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
Steve Martin
In a strange way, I don't have a job, so I have a lot of time on my hands. When I do work, it might be very concentrated, and it might be months where you're not really doing anything except maybe playing the banjo or writing something. You know, there's a lot of time in the day if you're not working 9 to 5.
Steve Martin
