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My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off.

Steve Kluger

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Steve Kluger
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: June 24
Author
Novelist
Jeans
Witty
Blow
Waist
Fart

More quotes by Steve Kluger

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Say 'Kenmore Square', I insist. Kenmaw Sqway-ah. Say 'Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina.' Nothing could be finah than to be in Caroliner.' You're doing that on purpose. I'm not. I sway-ah.
Steve Kluger
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Romance is a universally unspoken language understood by all living organism on this planet except heterosexual men.
Steve Kluger
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Like there's actually a need for Greenland. You can get ice at 7-Eleven.
Steve Kluger
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It doesn't matter what people thinks of you as long as you know that your heart and head are in the right place.
Steve Kluger
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. . . it's not just the people we love, but the people we let love us back who show us how high we can really soar.
Steve Kluger
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A first kiss after five months means more than a first kiss after five minutes.
Steve Kluger
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Augie: Does everybody else know? T.C.: About my epitaph? Augie: About me being gay, you gink-head hoser-face! T.C. Not everybody. There's a night watchman at a Dunkin Donuts just outside of Detroit. He doesn't know yet.
Steve Kluger
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T.C.: Um, actually you just said I live in a parking lot. You didn't mean to do that. Lori: You've never seen traffic on Concord Street at eight o'clock in the morning.
Steve Kluger
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Ale: Are you manipulating me again? T.C.: Try not to fall for it. I dare you.
Steve Kluger
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Never, ever stop believing in magic, no matter how old you get. Because if you keep looking long enough and don't give up, sooner or later you're going to find Mary Poppins.
Steve Kluger
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Falling hard for somebody makes you do things you never thought you'd do before. Like pulling off an A in History or finally facing the truth about yourself
Steve Kluger
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Just because you discover that you may like somebody after all, it doesn't necessarily mean there's any attraction.
Steve Kluger
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Communicating with the federal government is like talking to a computer that's crashing.
Steve Kluger