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Like there's actually a need for Greenland. You can get ice at 7-Eleven.

Steve Kluger

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Steve Kluger
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: June 24
Author
Novelist
Eleven
Ice
Actually
Need
Needs
Like
Greenland

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Communicating with the federal government is like talking to a computer that's crashing.
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Say 'Kenmore Square', I insist. Kenmaw Sqway-ah. Say 'Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina.' Nothing could be finah than to be in Caroliner.' You're doing that on purpose. I'm not. I sway-ah.
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It doesn't matter what people thinks of you as long as you know that your heart and head are in the right place.
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T.C.: Um, actually you just said I live in a parking lot. You didn't mean to do that. Lori: You've never seen traffic on Concord Street at eight o'clock in the morning.
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My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off.
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Ale: Are you manipulating me again? T.C.: Try not to fall for it. I dare you.
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. . . it's not just the people we love, but the people we let love us back who show us how high we can really soar.
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Augie: Does everybody else know? T.C.: About my epitaph? Augie: About me being gay, you gink-head hoser-face! T.C. Not everybody. There's a night watchman at a Dunkin Donuts just outside of Detroit. He doesn't know yet.
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Romance is a universally unspoken language understood by all living organism on this planet except heterosexual men.
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