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Originality irritates so obscurely that people may have to evolve to scratch it.

Steve Aylett

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Steve Aylett
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: January 1
Author
Novelist
Satirist
Science Fiction Writer
Bromley
People
Obscurely
Irritates
Scratch
Scratches
Originality
Evolve
May

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From space this Earth is incandescent with abominations - the gods write their signature in our entrails
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An office is a machine for dying.
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Ideas are self-replenishing, like snot
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Fractal litigation, whereby the flapping of a butterfly’s wings on one side of the world resulted in a massive compensation claim on the other.
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A key and a strangler - this is all a simple tale requires.
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He has been positively growing tusks trying to create a breed of human insect which will continue to live on this accursed planet. Everyone needs a goal.
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What happens when the hitcher and the driver are equally murderous?
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Biting enemies seems to be acceptable in a surprisingly narrow range of circumstances, or so a ninja shouted at me once
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Honesty is the voice that is acceptable in every matter.
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One golfer a year is hit by lightning. This may be the only evidence we have of God's existence.
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The best way of getting into something is to think of it as mischief.
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How many times does a man have to shave before his chin gets the message?
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Since childhood I’d been suspected of imagination
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I knew books could see people around them, they ground their tiny teeth, tried to rattle like windows, stories to tell.
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A society will manufacture an image of progress and locate it in the direction it wishes to take us.
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A hundred percent of marriages end in divorce, disappearance or death.
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In books there's nothing of the fish covered in the coldness of the sea, or the feeling of a star touching space. Bad for business.
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Stab me if you can enjoy it - but not if it feels like a duty. Stab me vertically if I'm lying down and horizontally if I'm running
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Hang up the phone on a vampire, the definition of carefree.
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The most amusing thing about a pantomime horse is the necessity of having to shoot it twice.
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