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Every now and then, I'll run into someone who claims not to like chocolate, and while we live in a country where everyone has the right to eat what they want, I want to say for the record that I don't trust these people, that I think something is wrong with them, and that they're probably - and this must be said - total duds in bed.

Steve Almond

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Steve Almond
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: October 27
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
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Probably
Duds
Every
Wrong
Chocolate
Something
Everyone
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Think
Running
Bed
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More quotes by Steve Almond

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Part of what depresses me so much about football is that it's so clearly about exploiting people, most of them poor boys of color, because of what they can do to entertain us, not because we have any genuine concern for them as people.
Steve Almond
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We need books...because we are all, in the private kingdoms of our hearts, desperate for the company of a wise, true friend.
Steve Almond
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I happen to love football so much and hate myself for loving it.
Steve Almond
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The answer is that we don't choose our freaks, they choose us.
Steve Almond
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A good teacher, after all, wields the authority of a parent with none of the psychological baggage. The best of them are semi-mysterious figures whose wisdom seems boundless and whose approval helps us discover who we are.
Steve Almond
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If you want to fight a cult, you've got to form a cult.
Steve Almond
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Football is Lotto for kids from economically vulnerable neighborhoods.
Steve Almond
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Misery loves another idiot with a jukebox where his soul should be.
Steve Almond
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At the end of night, before you close your eyes, be content with what you've done and be proud of who you are.
Steve Almond
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Obama said, basically, I wouldn't let any son of mine play football, though I do watch. And that struck me as remarkable! It's like he's saying, yeah, let some other set of parents or guardians put their boys up for that kind of punishment (and for my amusement). But not mine! It's just abject hypocrisy from a guy who should know better.
Steve Almond
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You've got all these parents who are projecting their pathologies of fear onto their kids and those kids are understandably messed up. Tragedies happen and that you have to allow kids to experience their own fear and guilt and sorrow. It's the cover-up that really screws people over. Unfortunately, America specializes in cover-ups.
Steve Almond
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A lot of what I'm having to do to get myself weaned from football is really limit what media I allow myself to consume. And it's a big drag. But it's also the only way to kick the habit.
Steve Almond
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Football offers us a sanitized spectacle of combat that has a clear resolution, which we need more and more today given our incoherent overseas wars.
Steve Almond
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It is in these moments of tender and ridiculous nostalgia that I know something inside me is still broken.
Steve Almond
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Just imagine what would happen if Obama grew a pair and in his last year in office just said, Forget it. Football is just too violent and too damaging to the economically vulnerable communities in this country. And it normalizes violence and fosters intolerance, etc. I mean: that would be awesome.
Steve Almond
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The truth is, every sport has been turned into a huge, nihilistic business.
Steve Almond
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All readers come to fiction as willing accomplices to your lies. Such is the basic goodwill contract made the moment we pick up a work of fiction.
Steve Almond
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There's something incredibly liberating about a holiday that encourages children to take candy from strangers
Steve Almond
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Authors should be as involved with the marketing of their books as they want to be. No more, no less. I happen to recognized, quite early on, that no one was going to buy my book if I didn't do everything I could to let them know that the book existed.
Steve Almond
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But something occurred to me as I sped through that dirty shroud of fog, something Vonnegut has been trying to explain to the rest of us for most of his life. And that is this: Despair is a form of hope. It is an acknowledgment of the distance between ourselves and our appointed happiness. At certain moments, it is reason enough to live.
Steve Almond