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Ours is a government of checks and balances. The Mafia and crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances.

Steve Allen

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Steve Allen
Age: 78 †
Born: 1921
Born: December 26
Died: 2000
Died: October 30
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Musician
Pianist
Screenwriter
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
New York City
New York
Stephen Valentine Patrick William Steve Allen
Stephen Valentine Patrick William Allen
Checks
Compromised
Politicians
Businessmen
Improve
Balances
Politician
Mafia
Balance
Crooked
Government
Businessman
Make
Bank
Officials

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If there is a God, the phrase that must disgust him is - holy war.
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The Bible is unfortunately unclear on a long list of moral and social questions and sex is one of them. On the one hand, there are expressions of admiration for the reportedly virgin mother of Jesus, but other portions of scripture speak quite accommodatingly of polygamy.
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I'm all for sex. Seven nights a week. Days, too.
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I cannot see how it can be argued that one should speak in tones of reverence and awe about the alleged divine instruction-in Psalms-to grab the defenseless bodies of innocent infants and dash their brains out against the nearest rocks or walls.
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...we are entitled to make almost any reasonable assumption, but should resist making conclusions until evidence requires that we do so.
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Radio is the theater of the mind television is the theater of the mindless.
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The fundamentalist believer is mostly a weird intellectual who often lacks real faith altogether. As a self-appointed attorney for God, who is in no need of attorneys, he very easily turns out to be more godless than the agnostic and the unbeliever. At all events, he seems deaf to poetry.
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God is by definition the holder of all possible knowledge, it would be impossible for him to have faith in anything. Faith, then, is built upon ignorance and hope.
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Civilization itself . . . can easily be swept aside when mob passions are aroused.
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The problem is that once the untrained mind has made a formal commitment to a religious philosophy - and it does not matter whether that philosophy is generally reasonable and high-minded or utterly bizarre and irrational
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Physical fitness is in. I recently had a physical fit myself.
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Thousands of years ago only Christ could walk on the water. Today anybody can do it you just step on the garbage.
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If the Old Testament were a reliable guide in the matter of capital punishment, half the people in the United States would have to be killed tomorrow.
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Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.
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Everybody is somewhere.
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Laughter would appear to be a physical reflex, although even if it is, this still leaves unanswered the question of why the human response to humor is a convulsive spasm of the respiratory mechanism rather than a crossing of the eyes or a waving of the arms.
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Totalitarianism is patriotism institutionalized.
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Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots.
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In a rational society we would want our presidents to be teachers. In our actual society we insist they be cheerleaders.
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Just as with cars, it's critical to know the fuel efficiency of black holes.
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