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American politicians do anything for money... English politicians take the money and won't do anything.

Stephen Leacock

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Stephen Leacock
Age: 74 †
Born: 1869
Born: December 30
Died: 1944
Died: March 28
Economist
Humorist
Political Scientist
Writer
Hants
Stephen Butler Leacock
American
Money
Anything
Take
Politicians
English
Politician

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Being a specialist is one thing, getting a job is another.
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Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.
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The minute a man is convinced he is interesting, he isn't.
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In Canada we have enough to do keeping up with two spoken languages ... so we just go right ahead and use English for literature, Scotch for sermons, and American for conversation.
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Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
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I've seen lifelong friends drift apart over golf just because one could play better, but the other counted better.
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The tears of childhood fall fast and easily, and evil be to him who makes them flow.
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Too much has been said of the heroes of history-the strong men, the troublesome men too little of the amiable, the kindly, the tolerant.
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Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't.
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It is difficult to be funny and great at the same time. Aristophanes and Moliere and Mark Twain must sit below Aristotle and Bossuet and Emerson.
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With the Great Detective, to think was to act, and to act was to think. Frequently he could do both together.
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The parent who could see his boy as he really is, would shake his head and say: 'Willie is no good I'll sell him.
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The road comes to an end just when it ought to be getting somewhere. The passengers alight, shaken and weary, to begin, all over again, something else.
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Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects.
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What we call creative work, ought not to be called work at all, because it isn't. I imagine that Thomas Edison never did a day's work in his last fifty years.
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The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything
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Humour is essentially a comforter, reconciling us to things as they are in contrast to things as they might be.
Stephen Leacock
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Chess is one long regret.
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There is no doubt that many things in life come to us...at backrounds so to speak. Happiness is one of them.
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I admit that when the facts are not good enough, I always exaggerate them.
Stephen Leacock