Quote

Newspapermen learn to call a murderer an alleged murderer and the King of England the alleged King of England in order to avoid libel suits.

Stephen Leacock

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Stephen Leacock
Age: 74 †
Born: 1869
Born: December 30
Died: 1944
Died: March 28
Economist
Humorist
Political Scientist
Writer
Hants
Stephen Butler Leacock
Avoid
King
Kings
England
Newspapermen
Call
Alleged
Learn
Libel
Order
Murderer
Suits

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The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine.
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If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it.
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Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.
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It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.
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The sorrows and disasters of Europe always brought fortune to America.
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In Canada we have enough to do keeping up with two spoken languages ... so we just go right ahead and use English for literature, Scotch for sermons, and American for conversation.
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The Victorians needed parody. Without it their literature would have been a rank and weedy growth, over-watered with tears.
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Too much has been said of the heroes of history-the strong men, the troublesome men too little of the amiable, the kindly, the tolerant.
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With the Great Detective, to think was to act, and to act was to think. Frequently he could do both together.
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The parent who could see his boy as he really is, would shake his head and say: 'Willie is no good I'll sell him.
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In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
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There is no doubt that many things in life come to us...at backrounds so to speak. Happiness is one of them.
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Humor may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life, and the artistic expression thereof.
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My parents migrated to Canada in 1876, and I decided to go with them.
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There is an old motto that runs, If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. This is nonsense. It ought to read, If at first you don't succeed, quit, quit at once.
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Chess is one long regret.
Stephen Leacock
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The road comes to an end just when it ought to be getting somewhere. The passengers alight, shaken and weary, to begin, all over again, something else.
Stephen Leacock
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Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.
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Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience in the New World. In a land so inescapably and inhospitably cold, hockey is the chance of life, and an affirmation that despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive.
Stephen Leacock
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I've seen lifelong friends drift apart over golf just because one could play better, but the other counted better.
Stephen Leacock