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All our yesterdays, it is true, have only lighted fools the way to dusty death. But we need at least the dates of the yesterdays and the list of the fools.

Stephen Leacock

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Stephen Leacock
Age: 74 †
Born: 1869
Born: December 30
Died: 1944
Died: March 28
Economist
Humorist
Political Scientist
Writer
Hants
Stephen Butler Leacock
True
Fools
Need
List
Needs
Lists
Way
Yesterday
Fool
Yesterdays
Least
Lighted
Education
Dusty
Death
Dates

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Too much has been said of the heroes of history-the strong men, the troublesome men too little of the amiable, the kindly, the tolerant.
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I've seen lifelong friends drift apart over golf just because one could play better, but the other counted better.
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Presently I shall be introduced as 'this venerable old gentleman' and the axe will fall when they raise me to the degree of 'grand old man'. That means on our continent any one with snow-white hair who has kept out of jail till eighty.
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When actors begin to think, it's time for a change. They are not fitted for it.
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Chess is one long regret.
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The parent who could see his boy as he really is, would shake his head and say: 'Willie is no good I'll sell him.
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Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.
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The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything
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A lone maple leaf resting on sand Have you ever been out for a late autumn walk in the closing part of the afternoon, and suddenly looked up to realize that the leaves have practically all gone? And the sun has set and the day gone before you knew it, and with that a cold wind blows across the landscape? That's retirement.
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There is an old motto that runs, If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. This is nonsense. It ought to read, If at first you don't succeed, quit, quit at once.
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My parents migrated to Canada in 1876, and I decided to go with them.
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We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor.
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Being a specialist is one thing, getting a job is another.
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Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour.
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Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience in the New World. In a land so inescapably and inhospitably cold, hockey is the chance of life, and an affirmation that despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive.
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Modern critics, who refuse to let a plain thing alone, have now started a theory that Cervantes's work is a vast piece of symbolism. If so, Cervantes didn't know it himself and nobody thought of it for three hundred years. He meant it as a satire upon the silly romances of chivalry.
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Humor may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life, and the artistic expression thereof.
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In earlier times they had no statistics and so they had to fall back on lies. Hence the huge exaggerations of primitive literature, giants, miracles, wonders! It's the size that counts. They did it with lies and we do it with statistics: but it's all the same.
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About the only good thing you can say about old age is, it's better than being dead!
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I admit that when the facts are not good enough, I always exaggerate them.
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