Quote

You frequently ask, where are the friends of your childhood, and urge that they shall be brought back to you. As far as I am able to learn, those of your friends who are not in jail are still right there in your native village. You point out that they were wont to share your gambols, If so, you are certainly entitled to have theirs now.

Stephen Leacock

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Stephen Leacock
Age: 74 †
Born: 1869
Born: December 30
Died: 1944
Died: March 28
Economist
Humorist
Political Scientist
Writer
Hants
Stephen Butler Leacock
Able
Shall
Entitled
Right
Asks
Jail
Friends
Village
Point
Native
Learn
Brought
Wont
Stills
Childhood
Urge
Still
Certainly
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The road comes to an end just when it ought to be getting somewhere. The passengers alight, shaken and weary, to begin, all over again, something else.
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Being a specialist is one thing, getting a job is another.
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There is an old motto that runs, If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. This is nonsense. It ought to read, If at first you don't succeed, quit, quit at once.
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All our yesterdays, it is true, have only lighted fools the way to dusty death. But we need at least the dates of the yesterdays and the list of the fools.
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The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything
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I admit that when the facts are not good enough, I always exaggerate them.
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Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult.
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My parents migrated to Canada in 1876, and I decided to go with them.
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The minute a man is convinced he is interesting, he isn't.
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Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.
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The Victorians needed parody. Without it their literature would have been a rank and weedy growth, over-watered with tears.
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Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience in the New World. In a land so inescapably and inhospitably cold, hockey is the chance of life, and an affirmation that despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive.
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We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor.
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About the only good thing you can say about old age is, it's better than being dead!
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When actors begin to think, it's time for a change. They are not fitted for it.
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Most people tire of a lecture in ten minutes clever people can do it in five. Sensible people never go to lectures at all. But the people who do go to a lecture and who get tired of it, presently hold it as a sort of grudge against the lecturer personally. In reality his sufferings are worse than theirs.
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Humour is essentially a comforter, reconciling us to things as they are in contrast to things as they might be.
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