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The parent who could see his boy as he really is, would shake his head and say: 'Willie is no good I'll sell him.

Stephen Leacock

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Stephen Leacock
Age: 74 †
Born: 1869
Born: December 30
Died: 1944
Died: March 28
Economist
Humorist
Political Scientist
Writer
Hants
Stephen Butler Leacock
Boys
Head
Parent
Willie
Really
Shake
Good
Parenting
Would
Shakes
Sell
Sells

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It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.
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Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour.
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Modern critics, who refuse to let a plain thing alone, have now started a theory that Cervantes's work is a vast piece of symbolism. If so, Cervantes didn't know it himself and nobody thought of it for three hundred years. He meant it as a satire upon the silly romances of chivalry.
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Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.
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The minute a man is convinced he is interesting, he isn't.
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The great man... walks across his century and leaves the marks of his feet all over it, ripping out the dates on his goloshes as he passes.
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You cannot depict love inside a frame of fact. It needs a mist to dissolve in.
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Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't.
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Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.
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Chess is one long regret.
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I've seen lifelong friends drift apart over golf just because one could play better, but the other counted better.
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The classical scholars have kept alive the tradition of the superiority of the ancient languages -- a kaleidoscopic mass of suffixes and prefixes, supposed to represent an infinite shading of meaning. It is a character they share with the Ojibway and the Zulu.
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About the only good thing you can say about old age is, it's better than being dead!
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The sorrows and disasters of Europe always brought fortune to America.
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A lone maple leaf resting on sand Have you ever been out for a late autumn walk in the closing part of the afternoon, and suddenly looked up to realize that the leaves have practically all gone? And the sun has set and the day gone before you knew it, and with that a cold wind blows across the landscape? That's retirement.
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Humour is essentially a comforter, reconciling us to things as they are in contrast to things as they might be.
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Being a specialist is one thing, getting a job is another.
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If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it.
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Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects.
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American politicians do anything for money... English politicians take the money and won't do anything.
Stephen Leacock