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The parent who could see his boy as he really is, would shake his head and say: 'Willie is no good I'll sell him.

Stephen Leacock

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Stephen Leacock
Age: 74 †
Born: 1869
Born: December 30
Died: 1944
Died: March 28
Economist
Humorist
Political Scientist
Writer
Hants
Stephen Butler Leacock
Boys
Head
Parent
Willie
Really
Shake
Good
Parenting
Would
Shakes
Sell
Sells

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It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.
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Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.
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In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
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When actors begin to think, it's time for a change. They are not fitted for it.
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You cannot depict love inside a frame of fact. It needs a mist to dissolve in.
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The road comes to an end just when it ought to be getting somewhere. The passengers alight, shaken and weary, to begin, all over again, something else.
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About the only good thing you can say about old age is, it's better than being dead!
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Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
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In Canada we have enough to do keeping up with two spoken languages ... so we just go right ahead and use English for literature, Scotch for sermons, and American for conversation.
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It is difficult to be funny and great at the same time. Aristophanes and Moliere and Mark Twain must sit below Aristotle and Bossuet and Emerson.
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There is no doubt that many things in life come to us...at backrounds so to speak. Happiness is one of them.
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Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects.
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Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult.
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The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine.
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Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't.
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We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor.
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The Victorians needed parody. Without it their literature would have been a rank and weedy growth, over-watered with tears.
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The sorrows and disasters of Europe always brought fortune to America.
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You frequently ask, where are the friends of your childhood, and urge that they shall be brought back to you. As far as I am able to learn, those of your friends who are not in jail are still right there in your native village. You point out that they were wont to share your gambols, If so, you are certainly entitled to have theirs now.
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The minute a man is convinced he is interesting, he isn't.
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