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The parent who could see his boy as he really is, would shake his head and say: 'Willie is no good I'll sell him.

Stephen Leacock

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Stephen Leacock
Age: 74 †
Born: 1869
Born: December 30
Died: 1944
Died: March 28
Economist
Humorist
Political Scientist
Writer
Hants
Stephen Butler Leacock
Head
Parent
Willie
Really
Shake
Good
Parenting
Would
Shakes
Sell
Sells
Boys

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Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects.
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Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.
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The classical scholars have kept alive the tradition of the superiority of the ancient languages -- a kaleidoscopic mass of suffixes and prefixes, supposed to represent an infinite shading of meaning. It is a character they share with the Ojibway and the Zulu.
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In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
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The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine.
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I admit that when the facts are not good enough, I always exaggerate them.
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Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour.
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Chess is one long regret.
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Newspapermen learn to call a murderer an alleged murderer and the King of England the alleged King of England in order to avoid libel suits.
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There is no doubt that many things in life come to us...at backrounds so to speak. Happiness is one of them.
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All Dickens's humour couldn't save Dickens, save him from his overcrowded life, its sordid and neurotic central tragedy and its premature collapse. But Dickens's humour, and all such humour, has saved or at least greatly served the world.
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Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.
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It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.
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It is difficult to be funny and great at the same time. Aristophanes and Moliere and Mark Twain must sit below Aristotle and Bossuet and Emerson.
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Presently I shall be introduced as 'this venerable old gentleman' and the axe will fall when they raise me to the degree of 'grand old man'. That means on our continent any one with snow-white hair who has kept out of jail till eighty.
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Humour in its highest reach mingles with pathos: it voices sorrow for our human lot and reconciliation with it.
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Humour is essentially a comforter, reconciling us to things as they are in contrast to things as they might be.
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About the only good thing you can say about old age is, it's better than being dead!
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Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.
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Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.
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