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The parent who could see his boy as he really is, would shake his head and say: 'Willie is no good I'll sell him.

Stephen Leacock

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Stephen Leacock
Age: 74 †
Born: 1869
Born: December 30
Died: 1944
Died: March 28
Economist
Humorist
Political Scientist
Writer
Hants
Stephen Butler Leacock
Head
Parent
Willie
Really
Shake
Good
Parenting
Would
Shakes
Sell
Sells
Boys

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A lone maple leaf resting on sand Have you ever been out for a late autumn walk in the closing part of the afternoon, and suddenly looked up to realize that the leaves have practically all gone? And the sun has set and the day gone before you knew it, and with that a cold wind blows across the landscape? That's retirement.
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There is an old motto that runs, If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. This is nonsense. It ought to read, If at first you don't succeed, quit, quit at once.
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In Canada we have enough to do keeping up with two spoken languages ... so we just go right ahead and use English for literature, Scotch for sermons, and American for conversation.
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Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.
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Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.
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Chess is one long regret.
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Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't.
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In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
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Humour in its highest reach mingles with pathos: it voices sorrow for our human lot and reconciliation with it.
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Being a specialist is one thing, getting a job is another.
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The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine.
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You can never have international peace as long as you have national poverty.
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Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects.
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You frequently ask, where are the friends of your childhood, and urge that they shall be brought back to you. As far as I am able to learn, those of your friends who are not in jail are still right there in your native village. You point out that they were wont to share your gambols, If so, you are certainly entitled to have theirs now.
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There is no doubt that many things in life come to us...at backrounds so to speak. Happiness is one of them.
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Too much has been said of the heroes of history-the strong men, the troublesome men too little of the amiable, the kindly, the tolerant.
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I've seen lifelong friends drift apart over golf just because one could play better, but the other counted better.
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It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.
Stephen Leacock
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It may be those who do most, dream most.
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It is difficult to be funny and great at the same time. Aristophanes and Moliere and Mark Twain must sit below Aristotle and Bossuet and Emerson.
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