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The parent who could see his boy as he really is, would shake his head and say: 'Willie is no good I'll sell him.

Stephen Leacock

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Stephen Leacock
Age: 74 †
Born: 1869
Born: December 30
Died: 1944
Died: March 28
Economist
Humorist
Political Scientist
Writer
Hants
Stephen Butler Leacock
Boys
Head
Parent
Willie
Really
Shake
Good
Parenting
Would
Shakes
Sell
Sells

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Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.
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Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects.
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Humour is essentially a comforter, reconciling us to things as they are in contrast to things as they might be.
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If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it.
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The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine.
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The Victorians needed parody. Without it their literature would have been a rank and weedy growth, over-watered with tears.
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Chess is one long regret.
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It is difficult to be funny and great at the same time. Aristophanes and Moliere and Mark Twain must sit below Aristotle and Bossuet and Emerson.
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Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience in the New World. In a land so inescapably and inhospitably cold, hockey is the chance of life, and an affirmation that despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive.
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Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour.
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When actors begin to think, it's time for a change. They are not fitted for it.
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The minute a man is convinced he is interesting, he isn't.
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The road comes to an end just when it ought to be getting somewhere. The passengers alight, shaken and weary, to begin, all over again, something else.
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Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
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I've seen lifelong friends drift apart over golf just because one could play better, but the other counted better.
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Presently I shall be introduced as 'this venerable old gentleman' and the axe will fall when they raise me to the degree of 'grand old man'. That means on our continent any one with snow-white hair who has kept out of jail till eighty.
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All our yesterdays, it is true, have only lighted fools the way to dusty death. But we need at least the dates of the yesterdays and the list of the fools.
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All Dickens's humour couldn't save Dickens, save him from his overcrowded life, its sordid and neurotic central tragedy and its premature collapse. But Dickens's humour, and all such humour, has saved or at least greatly served the world.
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In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
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Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.
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