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We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor.

Stephen Leacock

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Stephen Leacock
Age: 74 †
Born: 1869
Born: December 30
Died: 1944
Died: March 28
Economist
Humorist
Political Scientist
Writer
Hants
Stephen Butler Leacock
Objects
Professors
Laughing
Appears
Economy
Forgive
Lord
Tonight
May
Forgiving
Think
Object
Thinking
Noble
Professor
Laugh
Assured

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The minute a man is convinced he is interesting, he isn't.
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The road comes to an end just when it ought to be getting somewhere. The passengers alight, shaken and weary, to begin, all over again, something else.
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Too much has been said of the heroes of history-the strong men, the troublesome men too little of the amiable, the kindly, the tolerant.
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In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
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American politicians do anything for money... English politicians take the money and won't do anything.
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In earlier times they had no statistics and so they had to fall back on lies. Hence the huge exaggerations of primitive literature, giants, miracles, wonders! It's the size that counts. They did it with lies and we do it with statistics: but it's all the same.
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About the only good thing you can say about old age is, it's better than being dead!
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Humour in its highest reach mingles with pathos: it voices sorrow for our human lot and reconciliation with it.
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There is an old motto that runs, If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. This is nonsense. It ought to read, If at first you don't succeed, quit, quit at once.
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Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't.
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Indeed I have always found that the only thing in regard to Toronto which faraway people know for certain is that McGill University is in it.
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Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
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The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything
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Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour.
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Presently I shall be introduced as 'this venerable old gentleman' and the axe will fall when they raise me to the degree of 'grand old man'. That means on our continent any one with snow-white hair who has kept out of jail till eighty.
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It is difficult to be funny and great at the same time. Aristophanes and Moliere and Mark Twain must sit below Aristotle and Bossuet and Emerson.
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There is no doubt that many things in life come to us...at backrounds so to speak. Happiness is one of them.
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When actors begin to think, it's time for a change. They are not fitted for it.
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Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects.
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It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.
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