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The other man's arse is always cleaner!

Stephen Fry

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Stephen Fry
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Director
Improviser
Journalist
Narrator
Novelist
Performing Artist
Hampstead Village
Stephen John Fry
Men
Arse
Arses
Cleaner
Cleaners
Always

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It only takes a room of Americans for the English and Australians to realise how much we have in common.
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I certainly don't want to be formulaic. I want to be honest and authentic and everything else.
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I shall sustain a massive erection, that’s what, and I shan’t be answerable for the consequences. Some kind of ejaculation is almost bound to ensue and if either of you were to become pregnant I should never forgive myself.
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All we have to do is listen. The Good Lord gave us two ears and only one mouth, my dear white-headed mother used to say.
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I may have looked happy but inside I was hopelessly depressed.
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And of course you are mad, if by a madman we mean a mind that questions and rejects every civilized norm.
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The only people who are obsessed with food are anorexics and the morbidly obese. That, in erotic terms, is the Catholic church, in a nutshell.
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I was born Mary Patterson, but then I married and naturally took my husband's name, so now I'm Neil Patterson.
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It is easy to forget that the most important aspect of comedy, after all, its great saving grace, is its ambiguity. You can simultaneously laugh at a situation, and take it seriously.
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Hell, I am young. I am free. My teeth are clean. The sun shines. To hell with everything else
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I suppose that there is no point wasting time being lazy, though of course indolence in a divine way, actually has its advantages.
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[...] I suppose this was the first time I had ever felt an urge not to be. Never an urge to die, far less an urge to put an end to myself - simply an urge not to be. This disgusting, hostile and unlovely world was not made for me, nor I for it. It was alien to me and I to it.
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There is no right language or wrong language any more than there are right or wrong clothes.
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A month's salary, deep regret, the telephone number of some foul rehab clinic and my lance was free.
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Wine can be a better teacher than ink, and banter is often better than books
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Stop wanting wealth and fame and start wanting instead to do something well about which you are passionate
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Having a great intellect is no path to being happy.
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...the reality of intelligent British speech... uses blasphemus, coital and cloacal expletives as a matter of course.
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It's a great privilege just to be in a film not because you're some packaging that some agent has done with the studio exec: We need a John Travolta film.
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