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I shall sustain a massive erection, that’s what, and I shan’t be answerable for the consequences. Some kind of ejaculation is almost bound to ensue and if either of you were to become pregnant I should never forgive myself.

Stephen Fry

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Stephen Fry
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Director
Film Actor
Film Director
Improviser
Journalist
Narrator
Novelist
Performing Artist
Hampstead Village
Stephen John Fry
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More quotes by Stephen Fry

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I may have looked happy but inside I was hopelessly depressed.
Stephen Fry
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Why should I be depressed? I've got enough money. I've got a job. People like me. There is no to be depressed. That's at stupid as saying there is no reason to have asthma or there is no reason to have the measles. You know you've got it. It's there. It's not about reason.
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It's a great privilege just to be in a film not because you're some packaging that some agent has done with the studio exec: We need a John Travolta film.
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I'd probably want to teach at university, because children would drive me insane. I suspect it would be English literature, Shakespeare and so forth. I've always been deeply, deeply in love with that kind of thing.
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Hell, I am young. I am free. My teeth are clean. The sun shines. To hell with everything else
Stephen Fry
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The performance of buggery is no more inevitable a part of homosexuality than an orange syllabub is an inevitable part of a dinner: some may clamour for it and instantly demand a second helping, some are not interested, some decide they will try it once and then instantly vomit.
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Like vichyssoise, revenge is a dish best served cold.
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If you have been, I'm glad you've stopped.
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I almost once wanted to publish a self help book saying, 'How To Be Happy, by Stephen Fry: Guaranteed Success'. And people buy this huge book and it's all blank pages, and the first page would just say, 'Stop feeling sorry for yourself--and you will be happy.'
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No adolescent ever wants to be understood, which is why they complain about being misunderstood all the time.
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My first words, as I was being born [...] I looked up at my mother and said, 'that's the last time I'm going up one of those.
Stephen Fry
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Sex without smiling is as sickly and as base as vodka and tonic without ice.
Stephen Fry
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It's now very common to hear people say 'I'm rather offended by that'.
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Life, that can shower you with so much splendour, is unremittingly cruel to those who have given up.
Stephen Fry
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And of course you are mad, if by a madman we mean a mind that questions and rejects every civilized norm.
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It was behaviour that I thought not far from racism, sexism or any other kind of prejudice or snobbery. 'Because you are not cute, I do not want to know you' was, to me, hardly different from suggesting 'because you are gay, I dislike you
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I think Eros should be dirty. In Greek legend, as I'm sure you are aware, he fell in love with the minor deity Psyche. It was the Greek way of saying that, in spite of what it may believe, Love pursues the Soul, not the body the Erotic desires the Psychic. If Love was clean and wholesome he wouldn't lust after Psyche.
Stephen Fry
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Families where there is not much laughter I think are signs of some sort of dysfunctionality or sickness.
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It is a cliche that most cliches are true, but then like most cliches, that cliche is untrue.
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You can't just say there is a god because the world is beautiful. You have to account for bone cancer in children
Stephen Fry