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I don't think anybody can with a straight face say that the Russians did not set out to influence our election, and they did so.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Influence
Face
Think
Thinking
Russians
Straight
Election
Anybody

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Of course! Jeb Bush! America is hungry for another leader from that talented family!
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Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.
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When I read books it's to escape. It's so I don't have to talk to people.
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Equations are the devil's sentences.
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Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.
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Luckily, a recent survey published in the American Sociological Review revealed that atheists are the least trusted group in America—less trusted, even, than homosexuals. It makes sense at least we trust the homosexuals with our hair.
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I'm getting angry at liberals.
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The liberal Gluten-free agenda is turning our dogs lesbian.
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Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.
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In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.” Sorry, Darwin-huggers, but it’s not “In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
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I love being onstage, I love the relationship with the audience.
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NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.
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I believe all God's creatures have a soul... except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!
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As we all know, reality has a liberal bias.
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Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.
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I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.
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Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.
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Once I'm performing the show, I think that hour show has a certain intimacy with our audience. And that intimacy is through the lens and the live audience is a witness to that, whereas the audience at home is actually the object of my efforts.
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Sorry, but retirement offends me. You don’t just stop fighting in the middle of a war because your legs hurt. So why do you get to stop working in the middle of your life just because your prostate hurts? That’s desertion.
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Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for people with attention spans.
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