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I'm livin' high on the hog, and let me tell you, hogs make a terrible foundation.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Hogs
Livin
Hog
Foundation
Terrible
High
Tell
Make

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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Sorry to disappoint the liberals who tuned in tonight to gloat about Obama's lead in every poll, but I am not worried. McCain may be behind, but the man is a fighter. He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'quit.' He used to, but it was stored in the same part of his brain that remembered to vet his running mate.
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Luckily, a recent survey published in the American Sociological Review revealed that atheists are the least trusted group in America—less trusted, even, than homosexuals. It makes sense at least we trust the homosexuals with our hair.
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The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.
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I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible — I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical.
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Marijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.
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Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.
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I believe Sarah Palin is a true statesman, whose experience as a failed vice presidential candidate, half-term governor and eight-episode reality star has fully prepared her to take control of our nuclear arsenal.
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Everybody loves dogs. They're the pizza of the animal kingdom.
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Of the over 100,000 wildfires that happen in the U.S. each year, not a single one would get started without the fire triangle: Oxygen, heat and fuel. Fire needs all three to exist. It's like the three branches of our government: Legislative, judicial and executive. The fewer there are, the safer we are.
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Football is American why are the Romans numering our bowls?!
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My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot. So we said, `Let's give him a promotion.'
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I began my day as I often begin my days, by checking Donald Trump's Twitter feed to see how far the crazy has spread. And today, I really think he's off his meds, because today he went from crazy to cruel.
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Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.
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I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.
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Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns.
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Arbitrary rules teach kids discipline: If every rule made sense, they wouldn't be learning respect for authority, they'd be learning logic.
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If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?!
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The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you.
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(Rush are) like the JD Salinger of Canadian Prog Rock
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I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes.
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