Quote

Sure, integrating schools may sound benign. But whats the use of living in a gated community if my kids go to school and get poor all over them?

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Sound
Gated
Living
Whats
Use
Integrating
Kids
Benign
School
Schools
May
Sure
Community
Poor

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The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you.
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Science attacks our most cherished opinions. Opinions which come straight from our collective gut. Oh, wait, according to gastroenterologists, the only thing that comes from the gut is waste left from the digestion of food. That’s right, “waste.” I guess that means that scientists literally think our opinions should be flushed down the toilet!
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As we all know, reality has a liberal bias.
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I began my day as I often begin my days, by checking Donald Trump's Twitter feed to see how far the crazy has spread. And today, I really think he's off his meds, because today he went from crazy to cruel.
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Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return.
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If I had a dime for everytime that I was wrong, I'd be broke.
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It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.
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Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.
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A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?
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And when those bombs went off, there were runners who, after finishing a marathon, kept running for another two miles to the hospital to donate blood. So, here's what I know - these maniacs may have tried to make life bad for the people of Boston, but all they can ever do, is show just how good those people are.
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Forgot to live-tweet the election last night, so I'm post-tweeting today. I'll start as soon as my fingers unclench from their rage fists.
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Mitt Romney's email was hacked! So if you start getting messages that sound like they're from a bot, he's fixed the problem.
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Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.
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I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.
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We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.
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Donald Trump, yes, he's somebody's little boy. But he is his ideas because his ideas are what's going to affect us. As a man, he can do very little. But his ideas could kill us all.
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A mother needs to be in the home even when the kids aren’t. A messy house sends a coded message to children: “I’m not loveable. Otherwise Mother would dust.
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If we raise taxes on corporations, what incentive will they have to make money other than the fact that it's the sole reason they exist.
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You gotta learn to love when you're failing.... The embracing of that, the discomfort of failing in front of an audience, leads you to penetrate through the fear that blinds you. Fear is the mind killer.
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