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Can you really put a price on annoying two religions at once?

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Annoying
Religions
Price
Two
Really

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I can't be gay! I'm a happily married conservative, just like Ted Haggard and Larry Craig.
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I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way.
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I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.
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I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
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Who's Britannica to tell me that the Panama Canal was built in 1914? If I want to say that it was built in 1941, that's my right as an American.
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To quote from another gospel, DUNE by Frank Herbert, 'Fear is the mind-killer.' ... Jesus was the original Muad'dib.
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Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash. (Said to President Bush at the White House Correspondents Dinner)
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If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.
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Take the platypus - that is not a finished product. It is clearly still in beta.
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If we don't cut expensive things like Head Start, child nutrition programs, and teachers, what sort of future are we leaving for our children?
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I'm impervious to logic.
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(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.
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The shamrock is a religious symbol. St. Patrick said the leaves represented the trinity: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. That's why four leaf clovers are so lucky, you get a bonus Jesus.
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A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?
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I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens.
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Pissing off PETA is as easy as pie. Delicious kitten pie.
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What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press.
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