Quote

Can you really put a price on annoying two religions at once?

Stephen Colbert

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Really
Annoying
Religions
Price
Two

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

Image
What are the origins of dressage? Did just, one day, some young horse say to his dad, 'Dad, I don't want to charge into battle...I just wanna dance'?
Stephen Colbert
Image
Like all great theologies, Bill [O'Reilly]'s can be boiled down to one sentence: There must be a god, because I don't know how things work.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.
Stephen Colbert
Image
You should spend more time with your families write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.
Stephen Colbert
Image
It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.
Stephen Colbert
Image
In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I am down with the latest trends. And everyone knows, the thing on the streets is vampires. So I have been biting people on the neck.
Stephen Colbert
Image
It's no surprise I am addicted to all the Republican presidential candidates. They are like crack -- in that they will devastate black communities.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Arbitrary rules teach kids discipline: If every rule made sense, they wouldn't be learning respect for authority, they'd be learning logic.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what's going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.
Stephen Colbert
Image
There must be a God, because I don't know how things work.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Not living in fear is a great gift, because certainly these days we do it so much. And do you know what I like about comedy? You can't laugh and be afraid at the same time - of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid.
Stephen Colbert
Image
If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm loath to do the character.
Stephen Colbert
Image
For me, improvisation is about working with a partner. That is much easier to do in the interview, because you have a sounding board.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote.
Stephen Colbert
Image
In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
Stephen Colbert
Image
If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.
Stephen Colbert