Quote

I am down with the latest trends. And everyone knows, the thing on the streets is vampires. So I have been biting people on the neck.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Necks
Vampire
Streets
Everyone
Biting
Thing
Vampires
People
Latest
Neck
Trends

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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Who's Britannica to tell me that the Panama Canal was built in 1914? If I want to say that it was built in 1941, that's my right as an American.
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Some people perceive me as an assassin or at least someone who can slip under your guard with a knife. But if you watch what I do, that's almost never the case. I'm just trying to keep the balloon in the air. It rarely turns into anything combative.
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If anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Someone from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail.
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I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.
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The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.
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Don't cry over spilled milk-- get angry and punch a cow.
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If you like Battlestar Galactica...you're probably a huge nerd.
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I love being onstage, I love the relationship with the audience.
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I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave.
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Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.
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Sixty eight percent of Republicans don't believe in evolution. On the other hand, only five percent of monkeys believe in Republicans.
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Warmth is to sun, as truth is to me.
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If I thought I knew what was going to happen, it wouldn't be worth doing. The challenge is how joyfully, with what sense of fun and adventure and playfulness, we will greet it. We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.
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Like all great theologies, Bill [O'Reilly]'s can be boiled down to one sentence: There must be a god, because I don't know how things work.
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There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.
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When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter.
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Thinking that other people might be better than you is what makes you Canadian, not American.
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Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.
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You gotta learn to love when you're failing.... The embracing of that, the discomfort of failing in front of an audience, leads you to penetrate through the fear that blinds you. Fear is the mind killer.
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What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!
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