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Football is American why are the Romans numering our bowls?!

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Bowls
Football
American
Romans

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.
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The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.
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If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.
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Some say, 'Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.' I say, 'Those who ignore history are in for a big surprise.'
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I'm impervious to logic.
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I actually do not think that's how what's happening to our government is going to be stopped. I think people who are willing to be civically engaged and believe in the promises and the progress of the last fifty years that will save this country.
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There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.
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I've got butterflies in my stomach... because I ate a cocoon quesadilla!
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I am no fan of books.
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NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.
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Democrats lead in all the polls by at least ten points, except one.. Fox News. That is with a margin of error of plus or minus the facts.
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...why were you happier when you were a kid? Because you didn't know anything. The more you know, the sadder you get.
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Warmth is to sun, as truth is to me.
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The beauty of new media is that no evidence is necessary. The brave blog-troopers have stormed the cockpit of news, and wrestled the joystick of authority away from the seasoned pilots of the press who would land our country at the Facts International Airport.
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The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you.
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I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.
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Senator Kerry does not support our troops. If he had won the election, there wouldn't be any troops left in Iraq. President Bush, on the other hand, has given our troops an opportunity to fight without end. That's creating jobs. In fact, the president's policies helped create 104 more job openings last month. Now who's stupid, Senator?
Stephen Colbert
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As we all know, reality has a liberal bias.
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People would say, Oh, you say you just do jokes. I don't just do jokes. I do jokes. Jokes are important. They saved my life when I was younger. Hopefully we're making things nicer at the end of the day for people. That's the entire goal, and that's the touchstone and the North Star for the tone.
Stephen Colbert
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Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.
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