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As Shakespeare said, there's nothin' cooler than droppin' the 'g's off of gerunds!

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Cooler
Nothin
Shakespeare

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what's going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.
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For me, improvisation is about working with a partner. That is much easier to do in the interview, because you have a sounding board.
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My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot. So we said, `Let's give him a promotion.'
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I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.
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I'm impervious to logic.
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History moves fast. It's hard to believe that gay Americans achieved full constitutional personhood just five years after corporations did!
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I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote.
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I suppose fear is like a drug. A little bit isn't that bad, but you can get addicted to the consumption and distribution of it.
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You gotta learn to love when you're failing.... The embracing of that, the discomfort of failing in front of an audience, leads you to penetrate through the fear that blinds you. Fear is the mind killer.
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Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.
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I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd believe in if it wasn't for that.
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Why would we go to war on women? They don't have any oil.
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If you like Battlestar Galactica...you're probably a huge nerd.
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Join me in standing up against any actual knowledge about guns. Let the CDC know they can take away our ignorance when the pry it from our cold dead minds.
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I hope people'll find out pretty quickly that the guy they saw for 10 years was my sense of humor the whole time.
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You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They - they criticize what you say but they never give you credit for how loud you say it.
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Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.
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I love the Internet, and the Internet loves me back. Why else would it offer me so much sex?
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Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.
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Corporations have free speech, but they can't speak like you and me. They don't have mouths or hands.
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