Quote

As Shakespeare said, there's nothin' cooler than droppin' the 'g's off of gerunds!

Stephen Colbert

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Cooler
Nothin
Shakespeare

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

Image
When I read books it's to escape. It's so I don't have to talk to people.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Will Herman Cain become the first black President that I acknowledge? I call him a dark horse because he's an unlikely candidate who surged forward, and not because he's a horse.
Stephen Colbert
Image
We [comics] create our own reality on the show. I'm in a cocoon of the character's creation. Even within that reality, he's in a cocoon. While I'm an improviser and enjoy discovery, the show follows a script. I have a pretty good idea what's going to happen. It's a very ­crafted, controlled environment.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Foreign newspapers: if they've got nothing to hide, how come they don't print them in English?
Stephen Colbert
Image
Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return.
Stephen Colbert
Image
If you think you can lead your flock of sheeple and peeps to some glorified noodle fest on the mall, you got another thing coming, mister.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Luckily, a recent survey published in the American Sociological Review revealed that atheists are the least trusted group in America—less trusted, even, than homosexuals. It makes sense at least we trust the homosexuals with our hair.
Stephen Colbert
Image
It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I could sit toe to toe at a potato table with anybody.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I believe that people, more often than not, act with the best possible intentions. And when they don't, that's funny to me. That's why comedy ends up seeming cynical, because you're talking about the gap between what people say and what they do.
Stephen Colbert
Image
There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Summer movie idea: take all the sequels that are out right now, and make movies about their backstories.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.
Stephen Colbert
Image
And when those bombs went off, there were runners who, after finishing a marathon, kept running for another two miles to the hospital to donate blood. So, here's what I know - these maniacs may have tried to make life bad for the people of Boston, but all they can ever do, is show just how good those people are.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Sorry, but retirement offends me. You don’t just stop fighting in the middle of a war because your legs hurt. So why do you get to stop working in the middle of your life just because your prostate hurts? That’s desertion.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I must confess that I've never trusted the Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool. Where does it live? How do you hold it personally responsible? Can you put a distributed network of fiber-optic cable on notice? And is it male or female? In other words, can I challenge it to a fight?
Stephen Colbert