Quote

As Shakespeare said, there's nothin' cooler than droppin' the 'g's off of gerunds!

Stephen Colbert

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Shakespeare
Cooler
Nothin

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

Image
Once I'm performing the show, I think that hour show has a certain intimacy with our audience. And that intimacy is through the lens and the live audience is a witness to that, whereas the audience at home is actually the object of my efforts.
Stephen Colbert
Image
After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return.
Stephen Colbert
Image
brb, ttyl ok? wow, i saved a 'ton' of time with those acronyms.
Stephen Colbert
Image
A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?
Stephen Colbert
Image
Truthiness is What I say is right, and [nothing] anyone else says could possibly be true. It's not only that I feel it to be true, but that I feel it to be true. There's not only an emotional quality, but there's a selfish quality.
Stephen Colbert
Image
If we raise taxes on corporations, what incentive will they have to make money other than the fact that it's the sole reason they exist.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I'm getting angry at liberals.
Stephen Colbert
Image
If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.
Stephen Colbert
Image
In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I would say laughter is the best medicine. But it's more than that. It's an entire regime of antibiotics and steroids.
Stephen Colbert
Image
In 1986, our commencement speaker was George Schultz, secretary of state, fourth in line to the president. You get me-basic cable's second most popular fake newsman. At this rate, the class of 2021 will be addressed by a zoo parrot in a mortar-board that has been trained to say congratulations.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Yes, President Romney will not take God off our coins. And that is so important because right now, just like God, the value of our currency really has to be taken on faith.
Stephen Colbert
Image
There must be a God, because I don't know how things work.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don't need to care about science, literature or peace.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what's going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Like all great theologies, Bill [O'Reilly]'s can be boiled down to one sentence: There must be a god, because I don't know how things work.
Stephen Colbert