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As Shakespeare said, there's nothin' cooler than droppin' the 'g's off of gerunds!

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Shakespeare
Cooler
Nothin

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to do on weekdays.
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I'm impervious to logic.
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And though I am a committed Christian, I believe everyone has the right to their own religion - be you Hindu, Jewish, or Muslim, I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.
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I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.
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I can really find something interesting about almost anyone I talk to.
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Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.
Stephen Colbert
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If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm loath to do the character.
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I'm not a fan of the facts. Facts change my opinion never does.
Stephen Colbert
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Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.
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The skinnification of America's jeanscape has gone too far.
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Sure, integrating schools may sound benign. But whats the use of living in a gated community if my kids go to school and get poor all over them?
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Senator Kerry does not support our troops. If he had won the election, there wouldn't be any troops left in Iraq. President Bush, on the other hand, has given our troops an opportunity to fight without end. That's creating jobs. In fact, the president's policies helped create 104 more job openings last month. Now who's stupid, Senator?
Stephen Colbert
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History moves fast. It's hard to believe that gay Americans achieved full constitutional personhood just five years after corporations did!
Stephen Colbert
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I believe all God's creatures have a soul... except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!
Stephen Colbert
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Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns.
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I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.
Stephen Colbert
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John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation.
Stephen Colbert
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It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.
Stephen Colbert
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it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.
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Other people's deconstruction of your motivations doesn't help you do what you do. You can't swallow and think about swallowing at the same time.
Stephen Colbert