Quote

I'm impervious to logic.

Stephen Colbert

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Impervious
Logic

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

Image
Can you really put a price on annoying two religions at once?
Stephen Colbert
Image
I've said it a million times: Romance languages lead to premarital sex.
Stephen Colbert
Image
If Germans are happy it means everyone else is miserable.
Stephen Colbert
Image
We [comics] create our own reality on the show. I'm in a cocoon of the character's creation. Even within that reality, he's in a cocoon. While I'm an improviser and enjoy discovery, the show follows a script. I have a pretty good idea what's going to happen. It's a very ­crafted, controlled environment.
Stephen Colbert
Image
After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.
Stephen Colbert
Image
And when those bombs went off, there were runners who, after finishing a marathon, kept running for another two miles to the hospital to donate blood. So, here's what I know - these maniacs may have tried to make life bad for the people of Boston, but all they can ever do, is show just how good those people are.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Of course! Jeb Bush! America is hungry for another leader from that talented family!
Stephen Colbert
Image
It warps the minds of our children and weakens the resolve of our allies.
Stephen Colbert
Image
The skinnification of America's jeanscape has gone too far.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I can really find something interesting about almost anyone I talk to.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I don't think anybody can with a straight face say that the Russians did not set out to influence our election, and they did so.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Senator Kerry does not support our troops. If he had won the election, there wouldn't be any troops left in Iraq. President Bush, on the other hand, has given our troops an opportunity to fight without end. That's creating jobs. In fact, the president's policies helped create 104 more job openings last month. Now who's stupid, Senator?
Stephen Colbert
Image
I've always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?
Stephen Colbert
Image
Everybody loves dogs. They're the pizza of the animal kingdom.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Sorry, but retirement offends me. You don’t just stop fighting in the middle of a war because your legs hurt. So why do you get to stop working in the middle of your life just because your prostate hurts? That’s desertion.
Stephen Colbert
Image
We claim no respectability. There's no status I would not surrender for a joke. So we don't have to defend anything.
Stephen Colbert
Image
It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.
Stephen Colbert