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I'm not a fan of the facts. Facts change my opinion never does.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Change
Doe
Never
Fans
Opinion
Facts

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.
Stephen Colbert
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If anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Someone from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail.
Stephen Colbert
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If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
Stephen Colbert
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Contraception leads to more babies being born out of wedlock, like fire extinguishers lead to more fires.
Stephen Colbert
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Marijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.
Stephen Colbert
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Sorry, but retirement offends me. You don’t just stop fighting in the middle of a war because your legs hurt. So why do you get to stop working in the middle of your life just because your prostate hurts? That’s desertion.
Stephen Colbert
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Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life.
Stephen Colbert
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I could sit toe to toe at a potato table with anybody.
Stephen Colbert
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There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.
Stephen Colbert
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And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.
Stephen Colbert
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Destroying a religious symbol and building a religious center are really the same thing if you don't think about it.
Stephen Colbert
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I love being onstage, I love the relationship with the audience.
Stephen Colbert
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You don't look up truthiness in a book, you look it up in your gut.
Stephen Colbert
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When meeting royalty, it is very important, no matter how excited you are, not to vomit on them. Instead, vomit on the nearest commoner.
Stephen Colbert
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Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.
Stephen Colbert
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I actually do not think that's how what's happening to our government is going to be stopped. I think people who are willing to be civically engaged and believe in the promises and the progress of the last fifty years that will save this country.
Stephen Colbert
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A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?
Stephen Colbert
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My mom kind of led me toward acting. She wanted to be an actress when she was younger. That made me interested in it when I was a kid, because she and I are very close.
Stephen Colbert
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The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.
Stephen Colbert
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I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.
Stephen Colbert