Quote

I'm not a fan of the facts. Facts change my opinion never does.

Stephen Colbert

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Facts
Change
Doe
Never
Fans
Opinion

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

Image
If you think you can lead your flock of sheeple and peeps to some glorified noodle fest on the mall, you got another thing coming, mister.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I don't think anybody can with a straight face say that the Russians did not set out to influence our election, and they did so.
Stephen Colbert
Image
It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.
Stephen Colbert
Image
My mom kind of led me toward acting. She wanted to be an actress when she was younger. That made me interested in it when I was a kid, because she and I are very close.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Obamacare takes effect in less than eight months. Do you realize what this means? If you go to the emergency room now, you'll be covered by the time you finally see a doctor.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.
Stephen Colbert
Image
And of course I don't go anywhere without my pet goldfish, Anthrax. I always tell security I'm carrying Anthrax. Yeah, sure I get a lot of guff about it, but it's a family name I'm not changing it.
Stephen Colbert
Image
In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars.
Stephen Colbert
Image
People would say, Oh, you say you just do jokes. I don't just do jokes. I do jokes. Jokes are important. They saved my life when I was younger. Hopefully we're making things nicer at the end of the day for people. That's the entire goal, and that's the touchstone and the North Star for the tone.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Forgot to live-tweet the election last night, so I'm post-tweeting today. I'll start as soon as my fingers unclench from their rage fists.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Baby carrots are making me gay.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Yeah, Silver and his math are jokes, because math has a liberal bias. After all, math is the reason Mitt Romney's tax plan doesn't add up.
Stephen Colbert
Image
You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They - they criticize what you say but they never give you credit for how loud you say it.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Liberals want to burn the flag, but progressives just want to microwave it?
Stephen Colbert
Image
Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.
Stephen Colbert
Image
In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Obamacare needs the premiums of healthier people to cover the costs of sicker people. It's a devious con that can only be described as insurance.
Stephen Colbert
Image
First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in' the society of my high school and we waved at each other over the bong. Then I got to know people by making jokes.
Stephen Colbert
Image
Everybody loves dogs. They're the pizza of the animal kingdom.
Stephen Colbert
Image
I'm livin' high on the hog, and let me tell you, hogs make a terrible foundation.
Stephen Colbert