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No one has any idea what's going to happen. Not even Elon Musk. That's why he's building those rockets. He wants a 'Plan B' on another world.
Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Another
Musk
Happens
Rockets
Ideas
Plan
Even
Plans
Going
Building
World
Wants
Happen
Idea
More quotes by Stephen Colbert
First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in' the society of my high school and we waved at each other over the bong. Then I got to know people by making jokes.
Stephen Colbert
It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.
Stephen Colbert
Obamacare takes effect in less than eight months. Do you realize what this means? If you go to the emergency room now, you'll be covered by the time you finally see a doctor.
Stephen Colbert
I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. I'm looking forward to it.
Stephen Colbert
Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.
Stephen Colbert
I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
Stephen Colbert
Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.
Stephen Colbert
What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press.
Stephen Colbert
I can really find something interesting about almost anyone I talk to.
Stephen Colbert
New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.
Stephen Colbert
it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.
Stephen Colbert
Hey, single malt scotch, youre thirty years old. When are you going to settle down and get married to my stomach?
Stephen Colbert
If anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Someone from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail.
Stephen Colbert
Can't wait for tomorrow when I get to exercise my patriotic duty as an American: Complaining about how long it's taking to VOTE.
Stephen Colbert
...why were you happier when you were a kid? Because you didn't know anything. The more you know, the sadder you get.
Stephen Colbert
If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.
Stephen Colbert
I'm more American than apple pie. I'm like apple pie, with a hot dog in it.
Stephen Colbert
If Obama can force you to get health insurance just by calling it a tax, than there is nothing to stop him from making you gay marry an illegal immigrant wearing a condom on a hydroponic pot farm powered by solar energy.
Stephen Colbert
Not living in fear is a great gift, because certainly these days we do it so much. And do you know what I like about comedy? You can't laugh and be afraid at the same time - of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid.
Stephen Colbert
After nearly 15 minutes of soul searching, I have heard the call. Nation, I will seek the office of the president of the United States. I am doing it!
Stephen Colbert
