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Obamacare needs the premiums of healthier people to cover the costs of sicker people. It's a devious con that can only be described as insurance.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Needs
Premiums
People
Devious
Healthier
Described
Insurance
Costs
Cover
Cost
Sicker

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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If the eyes are the window to the soul, then why does it hurt when I spray them with Windex?
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Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for people with attention spans.
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Luckily, a recent survey published in the American Sociological Review revealed that atheists are the least trusted group in America—less trusted, even, than homosexuals. It makes sense at least we trust the homosexuals with our hair.
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If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?!
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A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?
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I know that the pope's infallible, but that doesn't mean he can't make mistakes.
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North Korea is willing to go to any lengths for the whole world to honor its demands of 'Ooh, please pay attention to us.'
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Marijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.
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Hey, single malt scotch, youre thirty years old. When are you going to settle down and get married to my stomach?
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I'm not a standup. I didn't start off as a writer, I learned to write through improvisation, and so that's the part of the show that can most surprise me. The written part of the show, I know I can get wrong. You can't really get the interview wrong.
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President Bush, have a hot dog with me.
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Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns.
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No matter how you were born, no matter how you identify, I want to be clear that I would be proud to grind you up and eat you.
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Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.
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If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.
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I may be just an empty flesh terminal reliant on technology for all my ideas, memories and relationships, but I am confident that all of that everything that makes me a unique human being is still out there somewhere, safe in a theoretical storage space owned by giant, multinational corporations.
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Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.
Stephen Colbert
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In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.” Sorry, Darwin-huggers, but it’s not “In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
Stephen Colbert
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You gotta learn to love when you're failing.... The embracing of that, the discomfort of failing in front of an audience, leads you to penetrate through the fear that blinds you. Fear is the mind killer.
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And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.
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