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Obamacare needs the premiums of healthier people to cover the costs of sicker people. It's a devious con that can only be described as insurance.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Healthier
Described
Insurance
Costs
Cover
Cost
Sicker
Needs
Premiums
People
Devious

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.
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Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.
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I've got butterflies in my stomach... because I ate a cocoon quesadilla!
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What I rediscovered was the therapeutic nature of singing lessons. They're like doing yoga but for [the] inside of your body. You open up and use muscles that you don't think of as malleable.
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Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is a trespassing coyote.
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...why were you happier when you were a kid? Because you didn't know anything. The more you know, the sadder you get.
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Of the over 100,000 wildfires that happen in the U.S. each year, not a single one would get started without the fire triangle: Oxygen, heat and fuel. Fire needs all three to exist. It's like the three branches of our government: Legislative, judicial and executive. The fewer there are, the safer we are.
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If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
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If the eyes are the window to the soul, then why does it hurt when I spray them with Windex?
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Marijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.
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I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.
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There must be a God, because I don't know how things work.
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You have to have a passionate opinion otherwise you sound false. You end up telling the audience jokes they've already heard.
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I guess 14% plus Jesus equals victory
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They think I'm silly. I do silly things. I fall down and run into things. I talk to inanimate objects. I'll hold a pickup stick to my ear and say, What? What's that? I can't hear you
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I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes.
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When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter.
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Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.
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Liberals want to burn the flag, but progressives just want to microwave it?
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Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you're in business, buddy.
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