Quote

You should spend more time with your families write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Novel
Fiction
Reporter
Write
Reporters
Wanted
Fearless
Writing
Stands
Always
Families
Time
Administration
Spend

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If we raise taxes on corporations, what incentive will they have to make money other than the fact that it's the sole reason they exist.
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Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.
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I am no fan of books.
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The beauty of new media is that no evidence is necessary. The brave blog-troopers have stormed the cockpit of news, and wrestled the joystick of authority away from the seasoned pilots of the press who would land our country at the Facts International Airport.
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Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.
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The skinnification of America's jeanscape has gone too far.
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If you think you can lead your flock of sheeple and peeps to some glorified noodle fest on the mall, you got another thing coming, mister.
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People would say, Oh, you say you just do jokes. I don't just do jokes. I do jokes. Jokes are important. They saved my life when I was younger. Hopefully we're making things nicer at the end of the day for people. That's the entire goal, and that's the touchstone and the North Star for the tone.
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Once I'm performing the show, I think that hour show has a certain intimacy with our audience. And that intimacy is through the lens and the live audience is a witness to that, whereas the audience at home is actually the object of my efforts.
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Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.
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I love the Internet, and the Internet loves me back. Why else would it offer me so much sex?
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Who's Britannica to tell me that the Panama Canal was built in 1914? If I want to say that it was built in 1941, that's my right as an American.
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When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter.
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The liberal Gluten-free agenda is turning our dogs lesbian.
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Some say, 'Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.' I say, 'Those who ignore history are in for a big surprise.'
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I know that the pope's infallible, but that doesn't mean he can't make mistakes.
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I don't trust books. They're all fact, no heart. And that's exactly what's pulling our country apart today. Because face it, folks, we are a divided nation. Not between Democrats or Republicans, or conservatives and liberals, or tops and bottoms. No, we are divided by those who think with their head, and those who know with their heart.
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We have this idea in our mind that there's a separation of church and state in America, which I think is a good thing. And we extend that to our politics. Like it's not just church and state, but it's also there's a separation of religion and politics. But of course, there - there isn't.
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Not living in fear is a great gift, because certainly these days we do it so much. And do you know what I like about comedy? You can't laugh and be afraid at the same time - of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid.
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Cain understands domestic issues because he had experience selling pizza and he understands international issues because pizza is Italian.
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