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You don't look up truthiness in a book, you look it up in your gut.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Guts
Look
Book
Looks

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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I don't trust books. They're all fact, no heart. And that's exactly what's pulling our country apart today. Because face it, folks, we are a divided nation. Not between Democrats or Republicans, or conservatives and liberals, or tops and bottoms. No, we are divided by those who think with their head, and those who know with their heart.
Stephen Colbert
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It warps the minds of our children and weakens the resolve of our allies.
Stephen Colbert
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If you use big words, no one will know you aren't doing jack squat.
Stephen Colbert
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...why were you happier when you were a kid? Because you didn't know anything. The more you know, the sadder you get.
Stephen Colbert
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Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is a trespassing coyote.
Stephen Colbert
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Cardinal Dolan, of course, has a very, very hard job: trying to hold up Catholic family values in sexually liberal New York City. I'm not saying New York is the Gay Mecca. But it's at least Gay-rusalem.
Stephen Colbert
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Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to do on weekdays.
Stephen Colbert
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Other people's deconstruction of your motivations doesn't help you do what you do. You can't swallow and think about swallowing at the same time.
Stephen Colbert
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I believe that people, more often than not, act with the best possible intentions. And when they don't, that's funny to me. That's why comedy ends up seeming cynical, because you're talking about the gap between what people say and what they do.
Stephen Colbert
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So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.
Stephen Colbert
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We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.
Stephen Colbert
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Marijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.
Stephen Colbert
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Sorry, but retirement offends me. You don’t just stop fighting in the middle of a war because your legs hurt. So why do you get to stop working in the middle of your life just because your prostate hurts? That’s desertion.
Stephen Colbert
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Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.
Stephen Colbert
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Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.
Stephen Colbert
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You have to have a passionate opinion otherwise you sound false. You end up telling the audience jokes they've already heard.
Stephen Colbert
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Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.
Stephen Colbert
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I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible — I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical.
Stephen Colbert
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Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.
Stephen Colbert
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Writing and producing the show is an intellectual process. Performing the show is far more athletic and intuitive, because you don't get to do it twice. It helps if you've done whatever the old saw is, 10,000 hours of it. Because I've done 10,000 hours of comedy, I have this database in my mind of what works and what doesn't work.
Stephen Colbert