Quote

It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Mayonnaise
Swallow
Mines
Mine
Pride
Hard

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Agnostics are just atheists without balls.
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Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.
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If the eyes are the window to the soul, then why does it hurt when I spray them with Windex?
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Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.
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Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America's obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.
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If I had a dime for everytime that I was wrong, I'd be broke.
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