Quote

It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Mayonnaise
Swallow
Mines
Mine
Pride
Hard

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I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
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If we raise taxes on corporations, what incentive will they have to make money other than the fact that it's the sole reason they exist.
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I actually do not think that's how what's happening to our government is going to be stopped. I think people who are willing to be civically engaged and believe in the promises and the progress of the last fifty years that will save this country.
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As Shakespeare said, there's nothin' cooler than droppin' the 'g's off of gerunds!
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I must confess that I've never trusted the Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool. Where does it live? How do you hold it personally responsible? Can you put a distributed network of fiber-optic cable on notice? And is it male or female? In other words, can I challenge it to a fight?
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I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.
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You CAN make an omelette without breaking eggs. It's just a really bad omelette.
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The liberal Gluten-free agenda is turning our dogs lesbian.
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If you use big words, no one will know you aren't doing jack squat.
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You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They - they criticize what you say but they never give you credit for how loud you say it.
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I imagined myself living in New York in some sort of open, large but sparse studio apartment with a lot of blond wood and a futon on the floor and a bubbling samovar of tea in the background and a big beard - living alone but with my beard - and doing theater. That's what I thought my life would be.
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It's much better to invite the audience to be part of your show rather than saying, I command you to do this. The other thing is, you have to follow through. If you initiate a game and they take part, you can't stop until it reaches a mutually satisfying resolution.
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