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If God wanted us to accept gays, he'd have made us compassionate

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Gays
Compassionate
Gay
Accept
Accepting
Wanted
Made

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For me, improvisation is about working with a partner. That is much easier to do in the interview, because you have a sounding board.
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If you like Battlestar Galactica...you're probably a huge nerd.
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What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press.
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New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.
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Science attacks our most cherished opinions. Opinions which come straight from our collective gut. Oh, wait, according to gastroenterologists, the only thing that comes from the gut is waste left from the digestion of food. That’s right, “waste.” I guess that means that scientists literally think our opinions should be flushed down the toilet!
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No matter how you were born, no matter how you identify, I want to be clear that I would be proud to grind you up and eat you.
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Destroying a religious symbol and building a religious center are really the same thing if you don't think about it.
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Democrats lead in all the polls by at least ten points, except one.. Fox News. That is with a margin of error of plus or minus the facts.
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Sixty eight percent of Republicans don't believe in evolution. On the other hand, only five percent of monkeys believe in Republicans.
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I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.
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Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.
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Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.
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brb, ttyl ok? wow, i saved a 'ton' of time with those acronyms.
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When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter.
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Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you.
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If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm loath to do the character.
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Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.
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Football is American why are the Romans numering our bowls?!
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Baby carrots are making me gay.
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Luckily, a recent survey published in the American Sociological Review revealed that atheists are the least trusted group in America—less trusted, even, than homosexuals. It makes sense at least we trust the homosexuals with our hair.
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