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As we all know, reality has a liberal bias.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Reality
Bias
Liberal

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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History moves fast. It's hard to believe that gay Americans achieved full constitutional personhood just five years after corporations did!
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The skinnification of America's jeanscape has gone too far.
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The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun
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For me, improvisation is about working with a partner. That is much easier to do in the interview, because you have a sounding board.
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Senator Kerry does not support our troops. If he had won the election, there wouldn't be any troops left in Iraq. President Bush, on the other hand, has given our troops an opportunity to fight without end. That's creating jobs. In fact, the president's policies helped create 104 more job openings last month. Now who's stupid, Senator?
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Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.
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I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. I'm looking forward to it.
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I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
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My mom kind of led me toward acting. She wanted to be an actress when she was younger. That made me interested in it when I was a kid, because she and I are very close.
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Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.
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In 1986, our commencement speaker was George Schultz, secretary of state, fourth in line to the president. You get me-basic cable's second most popular fake newsman. At this rate, the class of 2021 will be addressed by a zoo parrot in a mortar-board that has been trained to say congratulations.
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Naturally the U.S. trails in gold medals because every time we win one, we hand it over to the Chinese to pay off our debt.
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Donald Trump, yes, he's somebody's little boy. But he is his ideas because his ideas are what's going to affect us. As a man, he can do very little. But his ideas could kill us all.
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Republicans and nerds have so much in common -- they both live in fantasy worlds and have no idea how to relate to women.
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Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.
Stephen Colbert
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North Korea is willing to go to any lengths for the whole world to honor its demands of 'Ooh, please pay attention to us.'
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Truthiness is What I say is right, and [nothing] anyone else says could possibly be true. It's not only that I feel it to be true, but that I feel it to be true. There's not only an emotional quality, but there's a selfish quality.
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In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards.
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I can't be gay! I'm a happily married conservative, just like Ted Haggard and Larry Craig.
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The shamrock is a religious symbol. St. Patrick said the leaves represented the trinity: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. That's why four leaf clovers are so lucky, you get a bonus Jesus.
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