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As we all know, reality has a liberal bias.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Bias
Liberal
Reality

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The greatest threat facing American today - next to voter fraud, the Western Pinebark beetle, and the memory foam mattress - is the national news media.
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As Shakespeare said, there's nothin' cooler than droppin' the 'g's off of gerunds!
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I'm getting angry at liberals.
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If we don't cut expensive things like Head Start, child nutrition programs, and teachers, what sort of future are we leaving for our children?
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When meeting royalty, it is very important, no matter how excited you are, not to vomit on them. Instead, vomit on the nearest commoner.
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My grandfather did not travel across 4,000 miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland.
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Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.
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Like all great theologies, Bill [O'Reilly]'s can be boiled down to one sentence: There must be a god, because I don't know how things work.
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To sit here at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush...I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You now what, I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough...Somebody shoot me in the face.
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I guess 14% plus Jesus equals victory
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Destroying a religious symbol and building a religious center are really the same thing if you don't think about it.
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Arbitrary rules teach kids discipline: If every rule made sense, they wouldn't be learning respect for authority, they'd be learning logic.
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The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.
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I am down with the latest trends. And everyone knows, the thing on the streets is vampires. So I have been biting people on the neck.
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I don't think anybody can with a straight face say that the Russians did not set out to influence our election, and they did so.
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If you're injecting fear into other people, then you're trying to kill their minds. You're trying to get them to stop thinking.
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Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.
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Baby carrots are making me gay.
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Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.
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Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life.
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