Quote

I'm obviously younger, much better looking [then Jeorge W.Bush].He didn't veto things, he didn't bring order and fiscal restraint.

Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: May 13
Actor
Comedian
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Better
Restraint
Much
Younger
Things
Bush
Obviously
Bring
Looking
Order
Veto
Didn
Fiscal

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

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I love being onstage, I love the relationship with the audience.
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Agnostics are just atheists without balls.
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We [comics] create our own reality on the show. I'm in a cocoon of the character's creation. Even within that reality, he's in a cocoon. While I'm an improviser and enjoy discovery, the show follows a script. I have a pretty good idea what's going to happen. It's a very ­crafted, controlled environment.
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I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave.
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History moves fast. It's hard to believe that gay Americans achieved full constitutional personhood just five years after corporations did!
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I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote.
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I deliver my Truth hot and hard.
Stephen Colbert
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Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.
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If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm loath to do the character.
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You should spend more time with your families write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.
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Cardinal Dolan, of course, has a very, very hard job: trying to hold up Catholic family values in sexually liberal New York City. I'm not saying New York is the Gay Mecca. But it's at least Gay-rusalem.
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I'm livin' high on the hog, and let me tell you, hogs make a terrible foundation.
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In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards.
Stephen Colbert
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Liberals want to burn the flag, but progressives just want to microwave it?
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When meeting royalty, it is very important, no matter how excited you are, not to vomit on them. Instead, vomit on the nearest commoner.
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If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.
Stephen Colbert
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Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.
Stephen Colbert
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Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash. (Said to President Bush at the White House Correspondents Dinner)
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Will Herman Cain become the first black President that I acknowledge? I call him a dark horse because he's an unlikely candidate who surged forward, and not because he's a horse.
Stephen Colbert
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When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter.
Stephen Colbert